Do you struggle when dealing with certain individuals in your life?
Are you avoiding certain people who you have to spend time with every day, such as family members or co-workers? Perhaps your partner feels distant, or your relationship is suffering due to difficult in-laws?
When the alarm goes off in the morning, is your first feeling one of anxiety? Maybe you've felt like this for a very long time. Perhaps you feel isolated at work, watching others so naturally and casually forming into pairs and groups to go to enjoy lunch and after-work drinks together, while you spend your time alone. You don't understand why people treat you differently and why you feel like you can't trust anyone. You may even have tried changing jobs, thinking that this time it'll be different, only to realise that after the honeymoon period is over, you are in the same situation.
You may hate others during the day and yourself during the night, ruminating over conversations that went sour and re-living painful moments. Maybe you spend your weekends in bed because recovering from the work and thinking about certain individuals who trigger your anxiety eats all of your energy.
You may question if moving forward is even possible. You've silently accepted the role of being the kid who is being picked last for the football team. To avoid feeling like this, you may pretend to be something you are not, carrying a heavy mask wherever you go until you no longer know who you really are, deep down.
Interestingly enough, you may not look like a person who feels like this. You may act confidently and have a bubbly and outgoing personality so that no-one would never guess how terrified, lonely and anxious you feel on the inside.
But even during your darkest hour, you know deep down that you are a brilliant person. You can’t understand why others can't see it and tap into the goodness that you have to offer. Feeling like this can be isolating, frustrating and anxious. If this sounds like you, the good news is that you aren't alone.
Every relationship comes with unique challenges.
We can't always choose the people who enter our lives. Particularly those who carry a different foundation of (usually) inherited values, judgements, unique personal history, upbringing, and experiences to us. And usually the most difficult relationships we tend to have are with those who are closest to us.
It can feel frustrating, hurtful and isolating when connecting with these individuals is so hard. Sometimes the reason why you have fallen out with certain individuals seems very obvious. At other times, you may not realise until it's too late; You might have missed the subtle signs of their frustration with you, or maybe you've been unconsciously scanning them for 'warning signs' to prove to yourself that deep down they're ‘out to get you’ - when they might actually like you!
There's a reason behind every behaviour. We might easily justify and know the reasons behind our own actions but struggle to understand why others think and behave so strangely around us. It can feel like their only motive is to hurt us. The endless guesswork and hoping for things to get better is exhausting, leaving you feeling empty, tired and anxious.
This is especially true for those who grew up in emotionally dysfunctional families. If this is the case, you are even more predisposed to struggle with healthy boundary settings and communication.
To avoid feeling anxious, you've learned to avoid people which in turn makes you feel alone. You may feel like you only have two options available to you; to feel anxious with others or to be alone. And you may rather feel alone than anxious.
But what if you wouldn't have to choose and instead feel calm, confident and able to connect with others, effortlessly?
Social anxiety is very treatable
The truth is that you weren't born socially anxious. At some point in your life, you've learned a set of unconscious behavioural patterns that have kept you feeling 'safe' - but with a price tag of feeling socially anxious and lonely, perhaps the majority of your adult life.
Because anxiety is a set of unconscious patterns - and not an identity trait - the good news is that once the root cause of your anxiety has been addressed and healed, you're able to start enjoying deep and meaningful relationships with others and create lifelong friendships with those who align with your values and interests.
If you feel like your inability to connect with others has been going on for too long, an experienced End Relationship Anxiety Coach can help you connect with fellow human beings. I can show you how to regain confidence and a sense of calm when dealing with others, providing you with a skill for life.
End Relationship Anxiety Coaching helps you to gain your confidence
Relationship anxiety coaching will help you to identify the issues that are causing painful dynamics between you and certain individuals, while providing you with the skills to build and maintain deep, fulfilling connections.
You'll be able to heal those relationships in your life that have gone sour and stop "falling" into difficult dynamics with others. Instead, you'll become naturally good at quickly noticing your internal triggers and behavioural patterns and stop them in their tracks. You'll be able to connect with others without feeling fake or dependant on other's approval.
When you are more connected with yourself and who you really are, authentically, it will become easier for others to connect with you on a deeper level, trusting you and respecting your boundaries.
During safe, non-judgemental End Relationship Anxiety Coaching sessions with me, we'll discover and understand the more profound insights of your needs and automatic safety mechanisms that have been negatively impacting your life. You'll find how they're created, and how you blindly reinforce them so that others treat you in a certain way. You will be able to openly explore the issues that are causing your pain and discover how to overcome them.
As an Integrative Therapist and an Accredited Transformation Coach, I will provide tailor-made strategies and techniques to suit your unique needs and personality, enabling you to deal with stressful situations and people from a clear, peaceful and unemotional place.
On top of being an expert in my field, I also have the personal experience of suffering from social anxiety for many years. This is why I deeply understand what you are going through and with a compassionate and no-nonsense approach I'll help you to take all the guesswork out of this complex thing called ‘relationships’.
Interestingly, when you start to change, the people around you will begin to change too. You'll become a natural magnet for attracting the kinds of people into your life that you actually enjoy being with and who also love to spend their time with you too.
You may still have questions about End Relationship Anxiety Coaching...
‘Maybe it's better to wait for things to get better, avoid difficult people wherever I can, and simply just stop thinking about them too much.’
How long have you been doing this and how is it progressing? So many of us believe that avoiding or withdrawing from difficult people - or fiercely fighting back - are the only ways to deal with problematic individuals in our lives. But this approach costs energy and your energy is limited. The energy, that you could invest into enjoying your day, feeling at peace and focusing on the things that matter to you the most. Energy is a bit like money, and when you are wasting this precious energy on others, you are left with nothing to contribute to your own life, health and happiness.
You deserve a life where you are in control of your energy. End Relationship Anxiety Coaching can help you to patch the giant hole that you currently have in your energy wallet.
‘But shouldn’t I be able to handle this on my own?’
In our society, we're expected to avoid, eliminate or quickly fix our problems by ourselves. However, trying to solve repetitive, difficult relationship emotional dynamics isn’t something that can be dealt with using the same strategies. It's not easy, and in most cases, not even possible to do alone. This is because these patterns are found deep within your neurological system and hidden away from your view.
With the help of End Relationship Anxiety Coach like myself, you'll be able to spot these invisible, painful patterns and learn how to heal them. Once the original cause of these problematic, repetitive patterns has been identified, understood and treated, you'll be able to naturally develop the skills to sustain an enjoyable and healthy relationship with others. Life is too short for not having fun and enjoying life. How long do you still want to live feeling lonely and unconnected?
‘But isn’t coaching expensive?’
When you continually run away from painful relationships, this creates a problematic pattern. The best way to break free is to become aware of the inner causes and root of the problem. Whilst there is a cost involved, End Relationship Anxiety Coaching forms a valuable investment in yourself and your future, bringing clarity, serenity and happiness in your life. These skills, once learned and practised can't ever be taken away from you.
The price of withdrawing, along with the anxiety and unhappiness will cost you further down the line when having to seek new employment or consider a divorce. With End Relationship Anxiety Coaching, you'll be able to confidently ask for what you need and understand how to create, maintain and enjoy deep, fulfilling connections with others. All of this will enhance your self-respect, enabling you to obtain the career and relationship success that you always wanted.
You can learn how to genuinely connect with others and free yourself from anxiety.
If you are struggling with a problematic relationship with a co-worker, boss, partner or a family member, I can help. Just hearing yourself out can start the ball rolling. I deeply understand what you’re going through. I’ve been there. With this phone call, we can stop the cycle and begin to move forward. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation today:
Our practice is located in London Mayfair, Marylebone and Harley Street.